Thank you once again, Mother Russia

This is our apartment's backup hot water heater. 

It's located above the toilet in the bathroom that's in the kitchen.

Why do we have this contraption and why am I posting photos? Because we have officially entered the Moscow-2-week-hot-water-shutdown period of 2014!

Yep, every year the city turns off all the hot water completely for 10 days (repeat, TEN DAYS, NO HOT AGUA) to clean the pipes. So all the apartment owners spend heaps of money to install backup boilers, and ours in particular only works in the bathroom that's in the kitchen (our "guest" bath). No hot water anywhere else (not the kitchen sink or dishwasher and certainly not the main bath).

Why can't the city simply levy a tax and use that money to put more workers on the job, so it only takes a single day to clean all the pipes and then no one needs to install and maintain an extra hot water heating system in their personal apartments? Because This Is Russia. And this is how they do things.

This year the added bonus is that Scott's parents are here visiting so ALL FOUR OF US are now sharing the tiny bathroom, shower, etc in the kitchen. THANK YOU, MOTHER RUSSIA!

It also happens to be my last week in Russia because I'm leaving with Siena and Beau when Scott's parents leave. And last week the elevator broke. We are on the 8th floor.

At least, as Scott said, his parents are getting "the full experience." :-)

Lightbulb Handcuffs

There are 5 lightbulbs in our apartment that need to be changed and I can't do it.

This is one of the things about my experience here that gets under my skin and really, really bugs me. Simple, non-intellectual, normally easy household tasks that normally wouldn't be a big deal become a Huge Project.

And while I sort out the complex details of the situation (kidding), I see the dead bulbs every day and it feels like they're taunting me, "Nyah, nyah, you can't fix me…"

So the reasons why I can't change them (I actually have spare bulbs so that's not even a factor):

1. First, I don't have a tall enough ladder to reach;
2. When I asked one of the guys from the building to borrow their ladder, he brought it but insisted on climbing up for me (how gentlemanly!). Unfortunately, he couldn't figure out how to get the casing that covers the bulb unscrewed from the ceiling. He said a "specialist" must do it (WhAT?!);
3. The building guy left and asked The Specialist to come up, but HE said the landlady needs to request it first (WhATTTTT?! Okay, maybe I understand that - we're in a rental after all.); 
4. And finally, our landlady doesn't speak English so things like this I need to ask Scott's Admin to call her, explain in Russian what is happening and then the landlady will make the request.

OMG. OMG. OMG.

We're talking about lightbulbs!!!!

Oven Beef Burgundy Fail

Got a tasty-looking one-pot recipe from my mom over the holidays. I need dishes like this. Things that I can make in the afternoon or morning and forget about because by dinner-time things get hectic and more importantly, I start to get too hungry and too tired to begin thinking about making something. It's also nice to make these "pot" dishes because they usually yield enough for a couple meals.

Well, I left it in the oven for over 3 hours (after checking a few times and stirring "gently" as the recipe called for) and it came out so tough it was just no good. No good at all. Yuck. It was so bad, I didn't even finish, which is a big deal for me lately since I'm always hungry. I hate when this happens! I hate my Russian kitchen and I hate that I can't figure out how to buy/cook Russian meat! Actually I hate that I always have to cook, too!!

This package of meat was even from Metro so I thought it was good quality. It cooked for so long, wouldn't ANY meat get tender?! So disappointing, especially since it smelled pretty good while it was cooking. What a waste of time and energy!!!!

Stroller-un-friendliness

In order to cross Tverskaya Ulitsa, the huge, really wide avenue where we live, you have to go underground. There are actually three underground passageways within walking distance of our apartment (yay!) however none of them are very stroller-friendly (ugh!). I will say that one passageway has an elevator, but alas, it doesn't always work. So if you get there and it's out of order, you either turn around and go home or you lift your stroller down and back up all the steps.

Needless to say, this is a major source of stress for me. Basically I just don't take Beau out by myself if I have to cross the street. Kind of limiting.

At the base of the only set of stairs to get across the street. Somehow Scott thinks it's funny that we have to carry the stroller up and down all these steps every time we go to our favorite diner (read: the only one in town). It just makes me want to cry and curse out the Russians.

This is the Russian version of a handicapped-accessible ramp. If your wheels aren't the exact same width as these metal rails, well then, you're just out of luck.

More stairs on the other end. 

Shopping at Metro round 2

Another successful trip to Metro under my belt. Still can't get over how huge that store is! But it's fantastic because they have such a range of products.

Some new (funny) take aways:

1) when I told R the nanny where I was going she thought I was talking about the subway (as in the public transit system which is also called "Metro"). I even said "May-trah." She only realized what I really meant when I got back and she saw my shopping bags. She said, "ahhhhh, Mee-yeh-trah," so I guess my pronunciation was juuuuust a bit off. This is so typical.  I try all the time to say things 'pa ruskie' and they never understand me. I know my accent is awful, but it is so frustrating!

2) been looking for hot chocolate -- I mean, it was 9 degrees farenheit outside the other day, so kinda perfect for hot chocolate. Found these pretty packages in the instant coffee section and thought they might be hot chocolate. They were next to some canisters of powdered chocolate Nesquik, so why not?

Got home and looked up the words on the packaging....which means cocoa powder....darn. Should have looked it up while I was at the store but I didn't want to waste time. :( So now I'm stocked for life with 3 boxes of this fancy cocoa powder!

3) Found SKIM milk in my favorite brand for the first time ever! This was the only carton to be found, which makes me nervous but....still exciting!

4) bought this big bag of Brussels sprouts and the first bag I picked up had a hole in it so I dumped Brussels sprouts all over the floor. Ugh, so embarrassing in any country!

5) got some more mysterious chocolate covered cookies. This time I know they're gingerbread. But the question is, with what are they filled?? :-)

6) Finally, who knew the word for "bandaid" was SO LONG in Russian!?

Pigeon Russian 101

Our good friends M and C left Moscow in July and we 'inherited' their very experienced Russian nanny/housekeeper, R. Makes things easy when you have a personal recommendation from people you trust!

The only issue is: R NO SPEAKA DA ENGLISH.

Really none. Even though she's worked for at least two other expat American families. I think she's just decided she's not going to spend time learning much more beyond a few basic words for housekeeping and nannying purposes (e.g. "washing machine"). Suffice it to say most of the day, she and I look like Marcel Marceau. I'm sure Siena gets a big kick out of it all. 

On the plus side, it's really upped MY game on learning some new Russian [baby-related] vocabulary. 

So here's a chronological breakdown of how our "lessons" have been so far. I feel like I'm two years old with this stuff. So frustrating. 

November 29 (this was a big day)

pacifier: соска -- "SAUS-kah." Also can mean nipple I just learned. 

pacifier (slang): пустышка -- "poo-STEESH-kah."

hands: рукы -- "rooh-key"

I go: я уеду -- "ya oo-YEH-due."

December 4

I'm finished: я закончил -- "ya za-KAN-cheel"

December 5

asleep: уснул -- "oosnohl"

awake: проснуться -- "prahs-NOOT-seeyah"

December 6 (another big day)

to warm/heat up: греть -- "grayht"

to smile: улыбаться -- "oo-leh-BY-yetza"

to laugh: смеяться -- "smay-YAH-tzeh"

December 11

burn (n): спирт -- "speert"

first aid: первая помощь -- "pyair-vie-yeh pamohsh"

[I burned my hand the other day with hot water, so nothing to do with the baby!]

December 12

to like: нравиться -- "nrah-VEET-see-yah"

It's just SO hard. Often we end up at the computer together with Google Translate as our interpreter. Thank goodness for the Internet!! 

And thank goodness R is pretty much THE most patient woman in the world. She just keeps saying what she needs or means a bunch of times and then waits as the wheels in my brain start slowly revving up into gear. Eventually we work it out...